Extended Practice - Responding to Feedback

After receiving feedback from professionals, I have reworked my animatic to make the necessary changes to my story and to cuts to make sure that it is readable and cohesive. I tried to take on all the feedback I received, and I feel that I responded to it relatively well. Here are the scenes I improved:

This is the first revision:

With this first revision, the concern was that the cut from the hero character landing to the next shot was a bit jumpy, so I added in an extra insert of him landing and ready to fight, which showed more of his character and helps the cut to the next shot feel a bit more natural.

Revision 2:

This revision adds more character to the monster on his approach, I gave the monster more intent behind his approach, adding in a small victorious roar and a close  up insert before he jumps towards the hero, showing that the monster believes it has won at this point. I also wanted to show that the monster is angry with the character, thus the angry close up insert, possibly territorial? I think this helps the shot a lot with it's intent and showing the character's emotions.

Revision 3:

A couple of minor revisions, the most prominent being the character's head, he now looks towards the gun so that the next cut makes a bit more sense, so that his eye leads the transition. The next couple of things was the flipping of the monster looking down on the hero, it now reads better with the monster's screen direction being consistent between shots.

Revision 4:

This is definitely the most significant of changes to the story, with the entire ending being different. Originally I had staged the shot as though the monster was lunging down and the shot was revealed through the monster's head, however now I have the shot directly leading into itself with the gun coming into the scene and visibly shooting the monster on his lunge down, showing the damage, and setting up for the next scene where he falls, and the hole falls on to the hero character, inspired by many different classic scenes where the hero then emerges from the hole, and stumbles out to fall next to the monster.

I also changed the close up scene to reflect this, as he is now giving a sigh of relief, up against the head of the dead monster. He then hears an audible roar, which causes his relief to turn to surprise, at which he climbs up the monster, and the camera tracks him up to reveal the other 3 monsters, at which point he leaps into action again.

Here is how the full thing reads now:

I am much happier with the flow of the story now, I think the professional feedback has helped greatly with the action and flow of the short. It is now slightly longer but the shots that are there, are all necessary for the intent of the characters.